Never Gonna Give You Up

You know the rules

 and so do I 

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of-Rick Astley



I have received a few rather unexpected emails this week.  I am considering changing careers after reading these offers.



from:  JannWenner@rollingstonemagazine.com
Date: Monday 26 March 2018  9.26am
To: Matt Coleman
Subject: Publishing Request

Dear Matt,
I am the editor of Rolling Stone Magazine and I have become an avid reader of your blog.  Your writing style is reminiscent of the early days of our publication. 

 I would like to meet with you regarding "franchising" your concept and perhaps having you freelance for us as well.

 I will have the appropriate contracts drawn up while you are flying to NY with the attached first class ticket.
Regards, 
Jann





 from:  casting@jeopardy.com
Date: Tuesday 27 March 2018  9.26am
To: Matt Coleman
Subject: Contestant Search

Dear Matt,
I am happy to announce that you have successfully made it thru the application process to appear on "Jeopardy!"

 You are scheduled to shoot your first episode on April 27, 2018.  Please clear your calendar for the next 6 weeks after that, should you continue to win and make it to the "Circle of Champions".

 Book your flight to CA.
Congratulations,
Alex Trebek


from:  productionoffice@snl.com
Date: Wednesday 28 March 2018  9.26am
To: Matt Coleman
Subject: Meeting

Dear Matt,
I am the Executive Producer of Saturday Night Live.  I have been watching your youtube channel and I love what I see.

 Could you please "punch up" the attached sketch?   I am ready to take a chance with you, and I have sent a check for a  $1000 advance on your work.

 I would love to make comedy with you, how soon can you be in NY?
Yours, 
Lorne Michaels



from:  Michael@southernsoundstudios.com
Date: Thursday 29 March 2018  9.26am
To: Matt Coleman
Subject: Recording Session

Dear Matt,
I am producing an album for a new "supergroup". I cannot reveal the full details, but I can give a few hints.  

 Copeart Stewland is playing percussion. 
Wakeard Richman is playing keys.
Gilvid Damore is playing guitars.
Mar Jonsh is singing.

 Your name came up on the short list.  How soon can you be in Nashville for an audition?

 Pack your bass guitar!
Cheers, 
Michael Redstone



From:  brewmaster@cigarcitybrewing.com
Date: Friday 30 March 2018  9.26am
To: Matt Coleman
Subject: Collaboration Recipe

Dear Matt,
I have thought quite alot about the discussion we had at the brewery regarding the chocolate beer.

 I want to do it.  Submit a copy of your recipe and we will do the math to "scale it up"

 Do you have any objection to appearing on the packaging?

 How soon until you finish our proposed new jingle?

 Semper Fermentis,
Johnny




I might be busy for awhile.




As usual, when I arrived home, my wife asked "How did it go?"
"I pulled a prank." I responded.
"Of course you did, it's April Fools Day, the holiday for smart asses" She grumbled.
"Nobody will read all the way through to this part." I surmised.
"That is not how you 'Rick-roll'" She groaned.

What else could I say?

Stir up that MONKEYDUST!



© 2018 MATT COLEMAN ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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